2014 World Cup Preview For Group A: Gunnin’ For That Number Two Spot ( WORLDCUP 2014 PREDICTIONS)

2014 World Cup Preview For Group A: Gunnin’ For That Number Two Spot

                          

            


The 2014 FIFA World Cup is coming, to a country not so near to you, because you aren’t the center of the world, silly American.
Here’s our preview for GROUP A, which features host country Brazil and three other countries that are going to try to kick the shit out of each other to get the second knockout stage bid. It’s gonna be fun.

Odds to advance:

(via Pinnacle)
Brazil: (-2630) 92%
Croatia: (+110) 46%
Mexico: (+117) 44%
Cameroon: (+422) 18%

Brazil has dominion over these lands.

As host of the tournament as well as a fucking good soccer team, expect Brazil to cruise out of the group stage. Only Argentina has a higher percent chance to advance based on odds (they’re at 93 percent, probably because they play with Iran and Nigeria while Brazil got a more even draw). Historically, Brazil rarely needs more than two games (read: two wins) to ensure advancement. That will probably hold true here: Brazil is number one in ESPN’s Soccer Power Index, while Mexico doesn’t show up until 25; Croatia 30; Cameroon 38.

Is there any way Brazil doesn’t advance?

Well, sure.
Shit happensUpsets happen all the time. (Remember when Senegal beat France in 2002? Or when Qatar was awarded the 2022 tournament?) Brazil has had trouble with Mexico in particular, with 10 losses and six draws in 38 matches, including some major finals losses in the 2000s and at the 2012 Olympics. But this is now: Mexico is reeling from numerous coaching changes and needed a play-off win to get to Brazil. Even if the Brazilian team somehow falters against their semi-neighbor, don’t expect the same for Croatia or Cameroon.

How about Cameroon?

I mean… this isn’t a bad team. It’s no Iran. Or Honduras. But their road will be tough. Not even scoring an upset over Croatia or Mexico will be enough — they’ll likely have to play Brazil to a draw, at minimum, as well. They’ve got Samuel Eto’o, who plays for Chelsea and captains the team, but Eto’o's presence is reportedly also what kept Barcelona striker Jean Marie Dongou off the roster this year. They just don’t have the talent to hang.
Put it this way: Not every team can advance. That’s why they only give two spots in a group of four teams. Even if Cameroon did sneak through, they wouldn’t make it past the first game against stiffer competition.

So, Mexico or Croatia. Who you got?

Check the odds: Their chances of advancing are nearly identical. Both teams have trended downwards in recent years. It’s really a tossup. In those situations, I tend to look for the best player on either team and hope he goes beast mode. In this case, that’s midfielder Luka Modric of Croatia, who plays for Real Madrid. Take that advice how you will.

Players to watch:

Luka Modric (CRO) — Phrases used to describe Modric: “artistic sense,” “creative playmaker” and “telepathic understanding.” He’s the guy you want leading your team in a 0-0 game against, say, Mexico. He loves to attack. Look for him to score goals.
Neymar (BRA) — This is the young superstar’s first World Cup, but don’t expect him to go the “James Harden in 2011″ route. Guy can ball. He was the best player in the 2013 Confederations Cup and is already considered by many to be the next Pele, the next Ronaldinho, the next… one. He’s Neo, essentially, for Brazil.
Alex Song (CAM) — Eto’o is the team’s best. But look at this guy’s name. It’s fantastic. Plus, he’s got World Cup experience, plays for Barcelona with Neymar and is good on the attack. Cameroon will need to do a lot of attacking if they want to pull off an upset.
Giovanni Dos Santos (MEX) — Another guy with a fantastic name. Johnny Two Saints, in English. Holy shit, I want a Max Payne-style video game about this guy. He’s also experienced something of a Renaissance with Villarreal as of late.
Other names to spout while sounding like you know what you’re talking about: Basically everyone on Brazil is good — try Thiago Silva and, simply, Fred. Raul Jimenez is a Mexican striker who plays for a club team called America. Fuck yeah.

Fun country factoids!

These are good for when you’re torn on who to root for and opt for things like “character” and “story” and “cuteness.”
Brazil:
-They’re hosting this thing. See how poorly things are going in preparation for the tournament with our “Power Ranking All The Stuff Going Wrong In Brazil Right Now.”
-They wrongfully incarcerate one in five of their inmates, and around 50 percent of their inmates have never been tried in court. So, that’s nice.
-Brazil has won five World Cups, more than any other country. They’re kind of like the Yankees mixed with the Steelers.
Mexico:
-Cinco de Mayo was this month. You likely drank a margarita while saying “It’s Mexican Independence Day, or something!” Actually, it was “something” because Mexico’s Independence Day is in September. Cinco de Mayo isn’t a big deal in Mexico, so you might want to find another reason to get stupid drunk that day.
-Mexico just surpassed the United States as the world’s fattest country. They have a 32.8 percent adult obesity rate.
-Mexico’s best finish at the World Cup: reached the quarterfinals, twice. Not everybody can be Brazil.
Croatia:
-The White House was built with Croatian stones. They got that good limestone.
-It’s thought that Hum, Croatia is the world’s smallest town. According to the Wikipedia page, only 17 people live there. I had twice that many in my high school economics class.
-Croatia’s soccer team joined FIFA in 1993 with a 125th ranking, and by the end of the 1998 World Cup they ranked third. High climbers.
Cameroon:
-Yep, it’s an African country, but the two national languages are French and English. “Cameroon” comes from a Portuguese phrase meaning Shrimp River. Colonialism!
-Cameroon was the first African team to make it to the quarterfinal stage of the World Cup, in 1990 — and they lost to England in extra time. Ah, what could have been.